Hellllloooooooooooooo FRIDAY!! :)

Hi guys,how has this week been for you? 

Exciting? Boring? 

Well I certaintly had one week like no other....with a share of good side and the bad :)
 But if I had to put these 7 days straight in two words, it would have to be 

Marble cake ;)

"EXTREME HUNGER"! ( It came in like a wrecking balllllllll....) 

It all started on monday morning, when I was reaching for my usual wholegrain toasttttt and milk ;) I finished the toast, but after that I thought,oh well, I can do with one more...and then maybe another...and another...and another. Then throughout the day, I ate my lunch for morning tea, ate three servings of lunch ...yikes(which was warm croissants and meatballs...yum:)))) ) 
SoooooooooOOo...!!By the time of dinner, I've also had 5 slices of cake, and a cup of milk. I had felt terribly bloated, and my midsection looked as though a baby could fit there....
But after 20 minutes, the bloating disappeared and yes, I was left CCCCRAVVVINGGGGGGGG for dinnahhhhh :pppp so I gave my body what it wanted of course.

                  

Strawberry jam cake with icing..Amen!

So the first three days was all sugar and rainbows...I listened to my body as it constantly demanded for more and more FOOD..I'd swear i've been all about carbs for the first day, but my cravings for carbs and pastry soon faded and by wednesday, all I wanted was SUGAR. ESPECIALLY CAKE. I would scurry away from the dining hall with handfuls of cake, only to run back a short time afterwards, because I was simply craving MORE( also,the look on the face of the caterer serving me was priceless..XD)





I won't sugar coat the next days though..extreme hunger seemed to fade away..and all I was left was bloating. All day longgggggg, from when I wake up to shut-eye time at night.  I would eat and eat all day every hour without the feeling of hunger...but neither was there satisfaction. I just felt plain bloated and empty.
And I guess all I did was treat myself to more food in order to fill up that empty hole.
My appetite didn't come, and it hasn't come back yet...but I know that it will :)
After dinner or lunch, I would have the worst stomach cramps i'd ever experienced, where I just couldn't straighten up.
My belly puffed out stiffly, like I was suddenly expecting a child.
My brain was all foggy and I couldn't focus on what the teacher was writing on the board, not to mention itchy skin, night sweats, the urge to be sick, mood swings, occasional crying spells to even the slightest triggers.....I would always find myself thinking back to ED, even standing on the edge of relapse.
But what saved me from looking back was probably what saved so many others: My Eatopia ;)
I flipped through the forums. Through the First Hand Experiences, I found in them my own problems, and how it was suchhhhhhhhha relief to know that I wasn't alone.
And through the Remission Forum, I found back my faith in recovery.
Reading through the stories of so many others was really all it needed ;) Because full remission REALLY EXISTS. WOOHOO!! so maybe I should just STOP WORRYING AND KEEP ON NOURISHING MY BODY. (grabs some cookies at this point.)

Treating myself to cookehhhz :PP

To all the people out there experiencing the same thing as me right now, please don't freak out when you start to bloat/feel suddenly uncomfortable with all the things happening, instead, think how nice it is that your body's finally realised all the damage it's been having and is starting to respond to those deficiencies.. ( if my body could talk to me right now, it would probably be jumping up and down shouting 'HA, NOW I'M GETTING YOU BACK FOR TREATING ME THAT WAY!!':)))) ) So keep on EATING. and never lose faith in yourself,ever :3




Time really does fly, and even though lots happened, but i'm one week down in recovery:)
Lastlyyyyyyyy, I just wanted to PROOOOUDLY inform you that i'm one food down my FEAR FOOD LIST.
And that is Vanilla Ice-cream (WHOOP) :)
Before ED, ice-cream used to be my priority to LIFE.
But I have denied it for 3 months.
It's time to feel the rainbow again,isn't it? :P
I still felt shaky when I saw the marshmallows so I didn't have any of those.
But I know I will,someday.
But first, let me top up my bowl with three scoops of awesomeness.
And I sat back.
And I had a bite.
Then another.
AND ANOTHER....
It was soft, deliciousssss and full of life.
Life.
Amen. ;')

ANNNNDD for my endeavours today, I think I deserve a handful of COOKIES before bed :) yayyyy!!

xxx,stay strong :)
Lily