Raiiiiiiinnny weekend! (and fried rice)

Fried rice I WORSHIP CHUU

HAAAAAALOWWWW!

There's a cyclone closing in on Auckland - - and it's been raining all afternoon today

It means I can't go for a walk in the school grounds

but I get to stay in and eat ;) and that's 10+times better 

Eating fried rice reminds me of the times when I didn't board...I would eat lots of chocolates and pastries, shakes and desserts, NOT TO MISS OUT our family's awesome dinner...we don't usually eat fried rice as a meal, except if I was in a hurry...usually there would be pork/chicken soup, steamed tofu and egg, lots of potatoes...hot pots....stir fry...........

But in a world where Chinese food is scarce, even fried rice becomes a luxuryyy ;)))...

Bin outside school with a mocking jay symmmbolllll ;D

I'm drooling over this post so it's going to be short one - -
HAve a GREEEEAT  WEEKEND READERSssz!!! ;p

Lily <3

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Out of Nutella(!)and some thoughts on Friday night :)

Good evening guys ;D!

Have you all challenged a fear food today?
I certainly have, and that's PASTA WITH MEATBALLS (not as dramatic as gif above, but yeah). AND BANANA CAKE. ;)
Lately i've become temporarily 'lactose intolerant'......
I would come back to the boarding house from school and craaaaaavvvveee milk and cake
but after i'm halfway through my cup, awwwwful stomach cramps start up :(...

I have a love/hate relationship with milk! yayyyyyy ^_^


stomach cramps and bloating also start up when i'm 20minutes into a meal
its just the weirdest thing when your body's warning you to STOP EATING, while still craving for tons of food *_*!!!!
Just don't ask when you see me bending double over the dinner table...

Headaches,mind fog, rashes, acne (uhhhhhhh) have also started to show uppppppppppp
and my midsection would balloon and bloat after every meal ( and we have P.E after lunch, which is juuuuuust great - _-!!!!!)

What my body's constantly telling me about cake...
(but not necessarily in the form of an evil stepmother *_*)

After bloating for about 30 mins however,  I find myself craving for food again! it's like extreme hunger's NEVER GOING TO STOP. It's eased in the past days however, and i'm finding myself craving for a variety now, rather than just cake, or just bread and jam.

gradually, i'm adding vegetables and fruit into every meal :)))))))) 

Would lovvvvee to meet anyone who's going through the EH stage of recovery too;)

Bad news: Sadly, I'm SCRAPING THE BOTTOM of my (and my friends' ;P  hehe) NUTELLA JAR (s)   :(((((((

Good news: Thankfully, it's SATURDAY TOMORROW!!!  and every saturday the school generously puts a jar of Nutella in the kitchen!

Having settled that, I'm proud to say that I had chocolate mousse with cream for dessert today ;')

although I still got terribly sick in the middle and had to throw it away

but it was a giant kick back at AN ;))))

Just completed a bake sale survey from my school ;) I neeeeeeeeeeeed more CAKE, MORE IIIIIIIIIIIIIICE CREAM :DDD!!

Keep eating your way back to recovery....

Tell the AN inside your mind to back off YOUR life!

xxx, Lily :D

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Update on the past days :))))))

Hellooo readers!

You cannot imagine how happy I was when I discovered my FIRST FOLLOWER. 

I only have one, but that's the world to me knowing there's someone reading my blog :) and the thought that i'm not alone in recovery is just a blessing :)

Now two of the BEST THINGS happened yesterday and today ;) Remember that I said I was craving Nutella...

1.My friend shared her NUTELLA with me.

Well actually she left her Nutella with me, and told me that I can use how much I wanted ;)))))And for a long time in half a year, I wolfed down four slices of toast with heart-warming Nutella.( The blessings!)

I would have been totally fine having another five slices:),but gave the jar back anyway

2. Someone in my class decided to bring me a big jar of NutellaaaaaaAAAAAA

MORAL OF THY DAY:

HUMANITY REALLY STILL EXISTS!

Nutella=HUMANITY. 

I think i'll do a post of Nutella tommorow..

Even Hitler likes Nutella

Please take a moment to appreciate this wonderful work of art

Tuesdays have always been the best days for me ;)

Or at least ED made me think so.

Every Tuesday, our school closes half a hour earlyyyyyyy,which means I could go to the gym and work out for HALF A HOUR MORE.

and adding on what I usually do everyday, that's about 2 hours of running on the elliptical machine. I would always feel refreshed and "alive" while and after running. But heres the irony: This was exactly the things that were leading me to my death.

Not long after a few weeks of running this length, i've been dizzy, having sudden heartaches, long and hard cramps in the legs and feet, pale and unhealthy skin...and many more.

Researching on how much exercise teenagers SHOULD be getting in a week, I was shocked however, to learn that half a hour a day, three days a week of exercise was PLENTY ENOUGH. And disgusted to learn that my body is crippling day by day as it has nothing left to burn when I exercise....

I know there are many out there who are still OVER EXERCISING ( yes you. No, its ED telling you that you're 'just being healthy'.) 

Please understand that this will cause heavy consequences affecting your wellbeing, and maybe even life.

WHEW.

I'm still struggling at not exercising, but I remind myself everyday that exercise should be only for fun, not weight loss ;) and slowlyyyyy, i'm getting there !!

Something from Latin (one of my favourite subjects!!!) to finish up the bloggggggg

My dog ate my homework ;)

Sorry not sorry :))))

Xxx,Lily ;) 

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Perfect Microwave French Toast in a Mug!!!-Expectations vs Reality ._.

Helloooooo again :)!!!!

-in fact you shouldn't be bothered by them ANY TIME.

It feels pretty nice to be blogging again :P
Is everyone eating more cake and cookies?

Anywayyyyy, I woke up today feeling totally RAVENOUS. But what we have today for brekkie in the boarding house was pretty devastating.

At least for me...because i've gone over that carb+milk stage in my extreme hunger
( in which I not-so-cheerfully stuffed my face with a whole loaf of white bread, and chugged down what was a whole carton of milk in one sitting ;) ) and now I feel completely sick at the sight of milk..
so imagine how I felt when I found that all we had for breakfast were plain cornflakes,milk, and weet-bix in the kitchen today.. ;)

WHY YOU NO THERE WHEN I CRAVED FOR YOU YESTERDAYლ(ﾟдﾟლ)

Thank fully though, I've seen a blog post about how to make PERFECT MICROWAVED FRENCH TOAST IN A MUG ;) AMENNNNNNNNNN. 


2 Minute French Toast Recipe ( IN. A .NUTSHELL.):
Ingredients:
Bread(any choice works)
One egg
A mug(preferably large)
Milk(three tablespoons)
optional:
Maple syrup (or any topping of your like)
Cinnamon powder
Vanilla extract

Instructions:
1. Lightly grease the interior of your mug using margarine or butter.
2. Cube your bread and pile in mug(rip if bad mood or just impatient.)
3. Break egg in separate bowl. Stir in milk,cinnamon powder(optional) and one drop vanilla extract(optional). keep stirring until egg mixture is all evened out.
4. Pour egg mixture over bread. Let sit for one minute. 
5. Microwave mug for about 10 minutes first, then keep on adding 10 seconds until cooked to your liking.
6. VOILA!!


Expectations vs Reality?

Sooooo ...um, I tried out this recipe, and I guess it all went pretty well....
AT FIRST.
But because the recipe didn't call for the specific level of heat,
so I PUT THE MUG INTO THE MICROWAVE. ON HIGH.FOR 10 MINUTES.

It smelt sooo gooood for the first 5 minutes, but when I opened the microwave after it was done, the smell and taste was enough to make Bear Grylls run and scream bloody murder ;)
so yah.Let that sink into you for a minute or two.

Cookies to the rescue *_*

At the end of the day, what you eat at the start of the day really matters..( this sentence turned out to be some sort of badly pulled pun?)

Andddd the first thing i've learnt in ED recovery, is that eating what you like when you like it is realllllllyyyy important :))) and for me, that's a big handful of BH 'home *_* ' baked cookies, and a mug of hot chocolate ( NEVER a mug of burnt french toast).

Wish you all a happy week ;)

Keep on eating!!!!







Lily

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Hellllloooooooooooooo FRIDAY!! :)

Hi guys,how has this week been for you? 

Exciting? Boring? 

Well I certaintly had one week like no other....with a share of good side and the bad :)
 But if I had to put these 7 days straight in two words, it would have to be 

Marble cake ;)

"EXTREME HUNGER"! ( It came in like a wrecking balllllllll....) 

It all started on monday morning, when I was reaching for my usual wholegrain toasttttt and milk ;) I finished the toast, but after that I thought,oh well, I can do with one more...and then maybe another...and another...and another. Then throughout the day, I ate my lunch for morning tea, ate three servings of lunch ...yikes(which was warm croissants and meatballs...yum:)))) ) 
SoooooooooOOo...!!By the time of dinner, I've also had 5 slices of cake, and a cup of milk. I had felt terribly bloated, and my midsection looked as though a baby could fit there....
But after 20 minutes, the bloating disappeared and yes, I was left CCCCRAVVVINGGGGGGGG for dinnahhhhh :pppp so I gave my body what it wanted of course.

                  

Strawberry jam cake with icing..Amen!

So the first three days was all sugar and rainbows...I listened to my body as it constantly demanded for more and more FOOD..I'd swear i've been all about carbs for the first day, but my cravings for carbs and pastry soon faded and by wednesday, all I wanted was SUGAR. ESPECIALLY CAKE. I would scurry away from the dining hall with handfuls of cake, only to run back a short time afterwards, because I was simply craving MORE( also,the look on the face of the caterer serving me was priceless..XD)





I won't sugar coat the next days though..extreme hunger seemed to fade away..and all I was left was bloating. All day longgggggg, from when I wake up to shut-eye time at night.  I would eat and eat all day every hour without the feeling of hunger...but neither was there satisfaction. I just felt plain bloated and empty.
And I guess all I did was treat myself to more food in order to fill up that empty hole.
My appetite didn't come, and it hasn't come back yet...but I know that it will :)
After dinner or lunch, I would have the worst stomach cramps i'd ever experienced, where I just couldn't straighten up.
My belly puffed out stiffly, like I was suddenly expecting a child.
My brain was all foggy and I couldn't focus on what the teacher was writing on the board, not to mention itchy skin, night sweats, the urge to be sick, mood swings, occasional crying spells to even the slightest triggers.....I would always find myself thinking back to ED, even standing on the edge of relapse.
But what saved me from looking back was probably what saved so many others: My Eatopia ;)
I flipped through the forums. Through the First Hand Experiences, I found in them my own problems, and how it was suchhhhhhhhha relief to know that I wasn't alone.
And through the Remission Forum, I found back my faith in recovery.
Reading through the stories of so many others was really all it needed ;) Because full remission REALLY EXISTS. WOOHOO!! so maybe I should just STOP WORRYING AND KEEP ON NOURISHING MY BODY. (grabs some cookies at this point.)

Treating myself to cookehhhz :PP

To all the people out there experiencing the same thing as me right now, please don't freak out when you start to bloat/feel suddenly uncomfortable with all the things happening, instead, think how nice it is that your body's finally realised all the damage it's been having and is starting to respond to those deficiencies.. ( if my body could talk to me right now, it would probably be jumping up and down shouting 'HA, NOW I'M GETTING YOU BACK FOR TREATING ME THAT WAY!!':)))) ) So keep on EATING. and never lose faith in yourself,ever :3




Time really does fly, and even though lots happened, but i'm one week down in recovery:)
Lastlyyyyyyyy, I just wanted to PROOOOUDLY inform you that i'm one food down my FEAR FOOD LIST.
And that is Vanilla Ice-cream (WHOOP) :)
Before ED, ice-cream used to be my priority to LIFE.
But I have denied it for 3 months.
It's time to feel the rainbow again,isn't it? :P
I still felt shaky when I saw the marshmallows so I didn't have any of those.
But I know I will,someday.
But first, let me top up my bowl with three scoops of awesomeness.
And I sat back.
And I had a bite.
Then another.
AND ANOTHER....
It was soft, deliciousssss and full of life.
Life.
Amen. ;')

ANNNNDD for my endeavours today, I think I deserve a handful of COOKIES before bed :) yayyyy!!

xxx,stay strong :)
Lily

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First week of recovery :)

Sooooooooooo I guess this is going to be the first post in my blog :) I don't know how this will all work, but time will probably even it out for me :P 

This blog is for me to record down all my random feelings and thoughts/opinions throughout the recovery process( and probably a couple of rants now and then? )

I know there are many of you out there like me on your first shaky days of recovery and all I want to say is : CONGRATULATIONS! !!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MADE IT OUT THE FIRST STEP,exclamation MARK EXCLAMATION MARK!!!!!!! And using Dave's (my gym couch/being I usually rant to before I found out about blogging) own words, : 'pulled the brakes on the freight train that was pulling you down ' :P 

And for the people out there who are still unsure of joining recovery, no I cannot decide for you. But what I can tell you is that IT .IS .POSSIBLE. Yes, I know I will go through a lot (  binging, regret, relapse, guilt, breakdowns,BLAhBLAHBLABLAblablaBLAhH) and there would be times where ED will start stealing my hope, but it's a curvy road to a ONE .WAY .GOAL.

So get up, brush the dust off your pants and go kick some ANA ASS.

Lastly, If theres anyone out there who wants to talk/chat about anything, i'm free to all :) I can't do much to help you, but feel free to ask some questions too..( I'll probably ask you tons as well )

email me at lilyweikats@gmail.com

Feel free to comment on the page (ohhhhh I would like that!!!!!)

I'll determine some time every now and then to organise my blog :p

Determined to meet you all!

-Lily

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